Random Boomerangs

Over the past two years, I have dated a few men. While I was actually 'dating' each of them, things were okay but, me being who I am, I got bored and moved on fairly quickly. Of course, the exception to that would be A-the big ex of five years. I am not 100% sure I have completely moved on from him yet. There are still some remnants of him swimming around in my heart, but I digress. Over the last month or so, four of the men I have dated in the last two years have contacted me. Out of the blue. Three of them are out of state-two in Chicago, one in Baltimore.

The 3rd, who I call Thugalicious, is local. He makes it a point to call me about once a month to make sure I am still not interested in dating him. I find it mildly amusing. We have the same conversation every time he calls. He tells me I have a bad attitude and I tell him not to call me then...yet he continues to call.

THE EX emailed and texted me for my birthday on April 17th and then, in a moment of insane desperation, I called him after I got fired to ask him if there was any reason for me to go back to ChiTown. His answer..... nothing. He didn't respond. Same old shit, different day from him.

The really interesting contacts are Chef and Beautiful Dreadlock Man. Chef is a professional chef I dated very briefly in Chicago after The Ex and I broke up. We literally went out on one date. ONE date. He was very randomly in and out of my life and I, quite simply, moved on. He has contacted me several times over the last year since I moved back to Minneapolis. Chef is full of promises and grandiose ideas that generally amount to nothing. For the last year he has talked about coming to Minneapolis to see me. The key word in that sentence is talked. No action. He wants me to make a commitment and promises to him for us to have this incredibly romantic fall in love kind of thing...but I can't. He is 420 miles away and full of words that have yet to led into action.

Number four is BDM (Beautiful Dreadlock Man). We met just after The Ex and I broke up and I was in Minneapolis for job interviews. This man is the only man I have ever met in all of my life that literally gives me butterflies in my stomach. When he and I first met at TGIFriday's in Roseville, I was so nervous I couldn't even look at him. When he touched me, electricity flowed through my veins. He is, in my opinion, beautiful. Soulful brown eyes, soft, gentle, lips, thick, long, dreadlocks. The unfortunate thing about BDM is that he knows he is beautiful and he comes from a certain level of privilege but won't admit it. His parents paid for college for him. His parents paid for him to travel the world after college. Yeah, they had it rough when they were young (his parents) but this man has never been poor. He also thinks he knows all about the oppressive white folks and stuff. We have had some fairly heated disagreements. He returned to Baltimore at the end of 2008 or the start of 2009, I don't remember exactly. Things between he and I did not end well. Yesterday, he contacted me via yahoo messenger. Shocked the hell out of be because he had blocked me from contacting him on yahoo-which was cool with me. I was over it. He was very drama filled and his beautifulness did not make up for his arrogance or the way he talked to me. Oh and he at one time told me that he would only be with me if I got rid of my cats. Um yeah, not gonna happen my friend. Ever.

So, why did he contact me from Baltimore? To apologize. He said he was emotionally unavailable when we were seeing each other and he was a total ass to me and he was sorry. He said I was sweet to him and good to him and he regrets how he treated me and.....he said I'm gorgeous and he misses me and he........wants to try again. um....woah. He offered me a trip to Baltimore so he can show me 'his city".

BDM wants another chance with Kikers. So does Chef Man. And Thugalicious will call soon, I'm sure. And currently I am seeing someone else-MBA. That's what I'll call him because he is currently in the process of getting his MBA so he is always busy which causes a lot of strife between us.

Here is the conundrum: why do these men keep returning? My sisters have said its about sex. But come on, Chef and BDM do not need to contact me from across the nation to get some female attention. And obviously, I am not going to be jumping into bed with them when I am several states away. Both are good looking, professional, sexy, intelligent men who I haven't seen in a year. I have never considered myself a woman with options regarding men. Obviously, I have been incorrect in my evaluation of myself. These guys are not crazy or losers or just looking for sex. BDM has talked about marriage and kids. Chef has talked about moving here to MN because he wants to be with me. Yes, of course, it is just talk-but my question is-what is the point of just talking if there isn't something behind it? I don't contact these guys. In fact, I had deleted all of their contact information. They come to me. The crazy thing too is its not just once they come back then move on. Chef Man has come back at least five times. BDM in on round 3 I think. And even MBA-he is on round 11 or so I think.

The second conundrum is-what do I do with them? Each of them is completely different than the others. My feelings for each of them are completely different than the others. Each has completely different things to offer and I have completely different histories with each of them.

I just turned 33 and lost my job (and possibly my career) in the same week. I am looking for stability and a new start and these men show up as I am in a place where I can literally go anywhere and do anything. I am wide open to possibilities right now and the possibilities keep coming, so how do I choose? Especially when my hearts desire is to have someone to share my life with, to build a life with, to fall in love with and settle down with (or continue the random adventures of life with).....