Last week the world lost an incredibly kind man, Hervey McConkey.  I only encountered this joyful, kind, gentle, soul who was intensely devoted to Jesus, a handful of times during my adult life-he is the father of the husband of one my closest, oldest, dearest friends.  His loss was not unexpected.  Hervey was 83 years old and had been ill for a while however, this does not lessen the impact of the loss at all.  Hervey's death had more of an impact on me than I realized.  His loss has put the idea of legacy deep in my thoughts.  I have known Hervey's son Paige for fifteen years via my friendship with his wife Janet.  Throughout that time I have been intimately exposed to the character of Paige-his patience, his kindness, his true sense of deep caring for hurting people and especially youth, his intense devotion and love for his family and his overwhelming kindness inherited from his father, Hervey.  Hervey was a man who when he spoke to you, you felt like the most important person to him at that moment in time.  I imagine, this is similar to the impact Jesus had on people.  Hervey saw people-as they were yet in the best possible light-he saw and brought out the good and kindness in people.  Paige does the same thing-he inherited this quality from Hervey.  This is where legacy comes into play.  Did Hervey sit down and teach Paige to be kind, gentle, patient and joyful?  Did Hervey sit down and teach his son to truly see and care for people in intentional, relational ways?  I'm guessing no.  By simply being himself and seeking firs the Kingdom of God, Hervey passed on his legacy of kindness.  Throughout his life, Paige observed and experienced his father's kindness, devotion, loyalty, love and joy on a daily, minute to minute basis.  Paige, his siblings, his children, his wife, and his friends all saw how Hervey treated people and how Hervey lived his life.  Hervey did not preach powerful sermons.  He did not seek recognition.  He did not demand attention or focus.  But he oozed loving kindness through every ounce of his being.  Which is how is legacy becomes evident-through those people he interacted with the most and how those people, in turn, ooze loving kindness.  I see it in Paige.  I see it in Paige's son Jakob.  Hervey's legacy-which in turn is the legacy of Christ-is continuing to impact generations and will continue to impact future generations through Paige, Jakob and many, many others who knew and experiences Hervey's loving kindness.  Today is my 36th birthday.  With the passing of Hervey I began to think about my own legacy...and the legacy of my parents and grandparents.  By nature alone, I do not ooze the gentle loving kindness of Hervey-I'm a different person with a different legacy, which is good.  But I can still learn from his legacy and his life to strive to be kinder in my interactions with people.  I can also consider who I am, how I am wired and what my personality strengths are and mold those characteristics into my own legacy for my son.  In experiencing the passing of Hervey with his son Paige and his family, I have begun thinking about what my son sees in me on a daily, minute to minute basis.  What is the true, experiential, impacting legacy I am forming for my son every second of every day?  They say character is who you are when no body is looking...I think its more than that.  Character is the foundation for legacy which is who you are in the core of your being, the still quiet, routine moments of life and interaction.  Anyone can be anything for a minute...but that is not legacy or character.  Character comes from the consistency of your being-who you are in your core, laying the foundation for your legacy. 

Sharing Binkies

My son Caleb is going to be two in a week and a half and he loves his binky.  Pacifier, binky, nuk, whatever you want to call it, he loves his.  For a long time we had a great thing going for a long time where he would leave his binky in his crib when he got up in the morning but that went out the window when he started teething and he used his binky to sooth those nasty teeth by chewing on it.  Then I went back to work and changed daycare provers, so binky became more a staple.  His Auntie Aj started a game with Caleb called "chuck the binky" where she will unceremoniously yank the binky from between Caleb's unsuspecting little lips and proceed to 'chuck the binky' as far away from my little man as she can.  All the while Caleb is yelling "NO CHUCK BINKY!  NO CHUCK BINKY!" And as soon it lands, he runs over to retrieve it.  Yes, its a bizarre toddler form of fetch...but regardless Caleb will aways go to find his binky.  When you ask Caleb to share his binky with you, he will always say no.  Unless you are Max the dog.  My close friends the McConkey family have a lovely little dog named Max.  Max is a bashon poodle mix who is adored by his family.  The last time we visited the McConkey's home, Caleb did the unimaginable.  He shared his funky with Max!  This is a sign of complete love and devotion from my son.  Caleb has also attempted to share his precious binky with Jem, our 18 pound tabby cat.  Jem, unlike Max, refused the offer, but it speaks volumes about how Caleb feels about Jem.  To be perfectly honest, I am was a bit jealous of Max and Jem and the binky sharing.  I have asked Caleb to share his binky with me, but he has always refused.  I brought him into this world and care for him every day of his little life, yet he refuses to share the precious binky with me...sure a cat and a dog get the precious binky but mommy?  Nope.  Until today.  On Sunday mornings Caleb and I take it pretty easy.  He wakes up and toddles into my room to wake me up for breakfast.  This morning's breakfast wake up call was at 6:30am...so, as a dutiful mommy, I got up and gave him some breakfast then changed his diaper.  After that, we went back into my room for our Sunday morning cuddle time.  During this time Caleb laid next to me reading his book and playing, sucking on the all powerful binky.  After a while, he left.  I assumed to go get a different book.  My punkin toddled back into my room, climbed into bed with me and reached over to put a binky in my mouth.  My adorable son left our cuddlefest to go into his room and fine me, his mommy, a precious binky!  We spend the next few minutes facing each other, cuddling in bed, sucking on our matching blue soccer ball binkies.  Today is a day I will never forget.  My baby boy showed his love for me by bringing me a binky.  The simple joys and pleasures of motherhood.