Current mood:
contemplative Category: Life
There is this amazing book I am reading called Soul Cravings by Erwin McMannus. BEWARE it is full of deep stuff. The theme of the book is exactly what the title says-what your soul craves. It is divided into sections based on major cravings. In the meaning section, entry 12, McMannus talks about paradigms in a way I haven't ever thought of before. As a teacher, and in my professional customer service life before, I had heard the concept of a paradigm shift before in terms of learning but had never thought to apply to to life. A paradigm is simply a set of truths you accept that form your beliefs about a certain idea, topic, person or thing. Its the unwritten, accepted laws that govern the categories of your brain. As McMannus puts it, "an established framework form which reality is perceived." The problem is, what if our paradigm is established in lies? This is where the complications start-if our paradigm about ourselves is wrong, is rooted in hurt, betrayal, lies, etc-then we blind ourselves to the truth and the new realities we choose to form.
Woah, this is getting deep, eh? well...in reading this in my current life situation-transitional as always-I realized the issue I have in relationships is that the set of beliefs I have about myself are wrong, but they are an established paradigm....so I need to re-establish the paradigm I have that defines myself. The book talks about that too...what you learn and retain in your life is always tied to some emotional experience. So, my early relationships with men were negative and deeply hurtful and those emotions are strong, deep and real, so the ideas associated with those feelings stuck with me. I am not attractive, I am too fat, I am going to be single forever, I am not good enough. Those thoughts form my current paradigm about myself.
So, now its time to change that paradigm. The question, of course, is how does one go about changing that paradigm of beliefs when one is 31 years old and has a history of such hurtful things that have kept her behind a wall, keeping her from experiencing new emotions and realities to replace the wrong ones? Yes, you are right....the wall must come down-piece by piece and be re-established in healthy ways....as a gate rather than a wall. The paradigm has been in the process of change for a long time on a subconscious level, but now that I am aware of what the issue is, I can move forward intentionally to establish a true paradigm-
I am not perfect but I am pretty damn cute though I have some extra weight. I am also intelligent, funny, passionate, fun, generous and beautiful. So, the paradigm shifting....
Woah, this is getting deep, eh? well...in reading this in my current life situation-transitional as always-I realized the issue I have in relationships is that the set of beliefs I have about myself are wrong, but they are an established paradigm....so I need to re-establish the paradigm I have that defines myself. The book talks about that too...what you learn and retain in your life is always tied to some emotional experience. So, my early relationships with men were negative and deeply hurtful and those emotions are strong, deep and real, so the ideas associated with those feelings stuck with me. I am not attractive, I am too fat, I am going to be single forever, I am not good enough. Those thoughts form my current paradigm about myself.
So, now its time to change that paradigm. The question, of course, is how does one go about changing that paradigm of beliefs when one is 31 years old and has a history of such hurtful things that have kept her behind a wall, keeping her from experiencing new emotions and realities to replace the wrong ones? Yes, you are right....the wall must come down-piece by piece and be re-established in healthy ways....as a gate rather than a wall. The paradigm has been in the process of change for a long time on a subconscious level, but now that I am aware of what the issue is, I can move forward intentionally to establish a true paradigm-
I am not perfect but I am pretty damn cute though I have some extra weight. I am also intelligent, funny, passionate, fun, generous and beautiful. So, the paradigm shifting....
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