Single Pregnancy

Its been a week since I found out that I am pregnant and I still feel like I am in the twilight zone. My emotions and thoughts change from second to second and every now and I again I truly believe I am having a dream and will wake up to go back to my normal, single woman, life. The crazy thing is, I don't feel like there is a little life growing inside of me. I don't have a baby bulge, I don't have morning sickness, I don't have a precious little ultra sound picture to show people but my apartment is changing. I have started a 'baby crap' box. The box is slowly filling with baby stuff. Last Monday my sister Aj invited me and my other sister Rachel out to lunch to celebrate the coming of "Baby O". The growing patch of cells inside me as become known as Baby O because it is the eighth grandchild in the family so Aj has dubbed it Baby O....short for octagon, Octavius, Octopus, all things associated with eight. She arrived with a target bag and a sweet yellow bear head attached to a soft pale green blanket with the satin trim all babies love. We began tossing around names and nursery themes. The conversation was fun, but felt very out of body. This week has been a time of adjustment that I realize has only just begun. Everyone has tons of advice for me, which is appreciated but exhausting. Things like, you can't change the kitty litter box. Well, I live alone. I'm doing this pregnancy on my own, so...who else will change the kitty litter box? So, we had to look up the issue and there is no issue. Pregnant women can indeed clean the kitty litter box as long there is no eating of the feces. Whew! Safe on that one. Then there is the don't carry heavy things admonition. Seeing that I live alone and the baby daddy is in Chicago, I either carry heavy things or make a million and one trips to the car to carry in groceries and other random crap that life brings. Who else will carry these things? Im realizing that while everyone is kindly offering advice and help, but in the end, this is my journey and responsibility and I will be required to make the tough choices on my own. Of course people will help and be there for me, and who knows what role the baby daddy will assume-but in the end, my body is changing and I will be the mother of a child in nine short months. A daunting and exciting task that I am trying to get ready for. Hopefully I will be out of the twilight zone soon and reality will set in.