The Adventure Begins

I've been patiently waiting for my monthly cycle to start for a week or so and since I have been taking birth control pills for the last few years, I didn't think much of it but as the days kept passing and no cycle started....I decided to pick up a pregnancy test just to see. I've been late before, even on the pill, and the last few weeks have been highly stressful (moving, looking for a job, etc) so i figured that would cause the lateness. So, I went to my sisters house because one can not pee on a stick alone, and peed on the stick. Waited the obligatory three to five minutes and examined the oval on the stick. One pink line showed up very clearly and a second line faintly appeared... My sister and I looked at each other and wondered what it meant. It couldn't be positive, its only a very faint second line and I am on the pill! Since its Sunday, we jumped online to see where I could go to get a doctor's confirmation. Target Clinic here we come! Of course, we had to wait about an hour because the clinic is closed on Sundays from 1pm to 2pm so the doctor can have lunch. At 2:01pm, we got in the car and jetted to the Blaine Super Target Clinic. For $49.00 you can get pregnancy confirmation on Target Clinic letterhead, which is exactly what I got and a tentative due date of April 20th, 2010.

When the doctor gave us the news, Rachel began laughing hysterically and I was stunned. The doctor was very understanding and gave me all the basic info: no alcohol, no caffeine, get some prenatal vitamins and go see a regular doctor. Oh and she gave me an official letter to give to the folks at the county so I can apply for Medical Assistance and WIC since, yes I am still unemployed.

After we left the doctor's office, we wandered through target gathering the prenatal vitamins ensuring they have plenty o folic acid and what not and I asked Rachel, "Am I dreaming? Are we in the twilight zone?" I felt dazed, like I was watching the world through a dreamy haze of unreality. She pinched me and assured me, no, you are not dreaming. The next step was informing my parents that their youngest, unmarried, single, unemployed, daughter was pregnant by her ex boyfriend who lives in Chicago. We decided it'd be fun to ease the blow by giving them some cute baby gift. We settled on two bibs: on embroidered in pretty pastel pink with "I Love My Grandma" and the second embroidered in baby blue with "I Love My Grandpa."

Then we drove to the home I grew up in to share the news with the people who created me, within the confines of marriage and employment, of course. I don't remember my mother's first words but it involved swearing and not much joy...but shortly thereafter she exclaimed, "oh we need to start saving up for a crib! Let me know when you find one you like!" With the conception of their first grandchild 14 years ago, my parents started the tradition of purchasing the crib for the first child of each of their children. An avid smoker, she also moved her chair about ten feet away from me to protect me and the fetus from the smoke. Dad....well....didn't say much except, "well, I guess Andy got more than he bargained for with his $30 bus trip." He will need to process the information slowly and I am sure both parents are happy at the thought of grandchild number eight but concerned about their daughter being single and unemployed while carrying that blessing into the world.

Many phone calls have been made throughout this evening. Much love and support is felt. This is the start of a very long and challenging journey and honestly, right now, I feel very numb. I still feel like I am on the outside of my world looking in, seeing the action and hearing the conversations taking place but not actually experiencing them. This pregnancy was not planned by a long shot but was prophesied by my sister Rachel. About three weeks ago, when Andy came to visit, Rachel informed us that she had a dream that I got pregnant by him while he was visiting to help me move and paint my new place. Hmmm....prophetic much?

When I was in college I took a class called "The Biology of Women." Throughout the semester we discussed the biology and chemistry involved in developing a new life. There are hundreds of factors that have to be exactly right for an egg and sperm to unite and form a zygote then hundreds more factors that must be perfect for that zygote to implant itself on the right place in the uterus and another hundred factors for the uterus to accept that zygote and feed it as it grows and develops into an embryo. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, the chemistry and biology involved in conception and development of life is simply an unexplainable miracle. Sometimes the factors work together to create a new life, and other times they don't. For me, and this little life inside me, as of right now, its working and I am celebrating that fact and grateful that God gives me 40 weeks to prepare for this little pea to develop into an infant ready to join the world. Its an overwhelming sense of responsibility and awe that I am in this situation, preparing to be a mother, at this point in my life. Its not perfect, but it is what it is, my reality. Hopefully soon that reality will sink in!