Life and thoughts of a single mom with a desire to write and share ideas with people who might want to know..figuring out how to be a loving, consistent mom while also pursuing my teaching career and fostering other dreams of writing and whatnot.
My unexpected life
- Kikers
- Blaine, MN, United States
- City girl at heart who returned to the Twin Cities after a four year stint in the Stinky Onion known to the rest of the world as Chicago. Consistent nomad, frequently moving, changing, evolving. Striving to settle down and plant some roots. Recently became a single mother to Caleb Justus and am figuring out the adventure that is motherhood. Getting used to living in the burbs again close to family and friends.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
rules of celibacy..
So this whole celibacy thing is harder than I thought. Not that men are begging to be with me or anything like that...I'm just pondering the question what are my rules for this time? Can I go on a date should the opportunity arise? Is flirting ok? What about communicating with exes? What about daydreaming? What about gettin my groove on on my own, if ya know what I mean? I'm all full of the "what ifs" right now. One of the books I picked up on the dating/celibacy issue is called "Every Woman's Battle". For the most part, Christan self help books generally irritate me with their oversimplification and overspiritualization of issues...this one, however, has given me pause for thought. Essentially, the author suggests avoiding any thoughts that could potentially be impure or lead down the slippery slope of lust, fornication and whatnot. She is also all about Gods will, anti Homosexuality and oozes conservativeness in general. My issue here is that I'm not completely convinced that sex outside of marriage is always completely sinful or completely against Gods will (which in and of itself is a whole other can o worms). I've done a great deal of reading and pondering on the whole fornication issue and...I just don't know what the rules are. I get frusurated with the idea that the rules are the same for everyone all the time when clearly we all have different issues, pasts, callings, desires, experiences, etc. Anyhoo, I'm pondering the spiritual implications of sexual as well as emotional intimacy and hoping the Divine one will continue to lead me to a place of reflection and peace within my restless curious soul
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In a weird way isn't it funny how all it took was one bad situation to take you from a place where flirting with men and "making out" was fun to a place where its taken over... And how DO you get back to the basics and be content with you once were at??? That is a good question!!! You have me thinkin...
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