Getting in Shape...again

I have a love hate relationship with Oprah and rarely watch her show. Today was one of those rare days where I caught it and kept it on. It was a "best of" episode where she had on people who had lost hundreds of pounds of weight without surgery or pills but with their own choices, motivation and hard work. I had heard of this episode before and had even caught glimpses of it but today I actually sat for a few minutes and watched-and listened-to part of it. The stories that were shared were truly amazing and powerfully motivating. One woman lost over 500 pounds. FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS. Other people lost upwards of 300 pounds. These people did not go on The Biggest Loser, they did not get gastric bypass, they did not hire million dollar personal chefs or anything like that. They simply made the choice to make the changes in their lives they wanted to make for themselves and by themselves. I found the stories inspiring and realized I need to take care of myself better. Yes, I have said this for years. I know...and it is always a struggle...to make the choice to exercise and to eat well...but this is something I CAN do. Right now several aspects of my life feel completely out of my control. I've been unemployed for over a year and continue to search for, apply for, interview for and get rejected for jobs. I have no control over when or if I will get a job. I can only do my best, put myself out there, tweak my resume, pound the pavement and pray. But I can control what I eat and how I spend the time I have each day with my boy. Caleb is also a HUGE motivation for getting into shape. I want to be active with him. I want to play with him, run with him, chase him around, tickle him, challenge him, wrestle with him...I don't want him to be ashamed of his fat mom or afraid that I am not healthy. I don't want to tell him "i can't do that with you because i am too big or too out of shape or too tired." I also want to model healthy choices and behaviors for him. He needs me to be healthy for him and with him. I don't want to miss any time with my son and I want to do everything I can to be the best mom I can be for him. I also want to be around and active for as long as humanly possible..to be with my grandkids. Last week I walked with Caleb and Kieran to my mom and dad's place a mile from my house...it was a tough walk and a reality check. A mile should not be a tough walk for me. I wasn't running, I wasn't even walking fast....but I was breathing heavily and sweating and exhausted....I want to enjoy being active and outside and energized. I don't want to get tired walking half a mile ..I want to be confident in myself and I want to be able to buy bras at Victoria's Secret or a regular store. As it stands now, I have to order bras online. I want to feel comfortable in my clothes and have cute, fun, clothing that I actually like.

So here we go...the journey begins again. Today I weigh 305 pounds. I am down from my highest point which was around 350 but I have also gained weight since giving birth. Currently I am not active. I spend most of my day on the couch or doing random housework. I can't afford to join a gym right now-I loved going to the gym and working a personal trainer when I had the money to do so. But now, just not possible. I do however have space and time and tools at home.

Here's what I have:

-yoga mat
-arm rings
-3, 5, 10 pound weights
-balance ball
-resistance bands
-that shaker arm thingy
-dvd player
-tv
-comfy shoes
-great stroller for caleb
-TIME

Today I started with the arm circle thingies and it was amusing...I felt the pain and enjoyed it as well. My arms are a huge bone of contention for me. As my former middle school students have pointed out, I don't have elbows because they are hidden behind upper arm fat. yuck. The focus for now is going to be my arms. The funny thing about the rings is that you spin them on your arms while doing arm circles with your hands pointed in various positions. Your hands are down, then straight out, then facing up. I desperately need to work on my coordination because my rings were flying across the room rather than saying on my wrists. My right arm does fairly well, but the left...woah...the things go flying. Its only about a ten minute workout and its no impact but gets my heart rate up, my sweat going and my arms hurting-in a good way. I also learned to do some stretches which felt really good.

Summation of day one-had a good breakfast: granola bar, yogurt, skim latte. Crappy lunch-left over pizza....crappy snack/dinner....ice cream. Attempted to do the arm routine, pretty much completed it but need more practice. Gotta do every day. Tomorrow I want to add in doing sit ups with the balance ball. Goal for the next seven days-do the arms five days and sit ups at least three times.