Seriously? Is there something in the water?

Once again, I am minding my own business, leading my life, getting ready for my kiddo to join the world, not contacting anyone with a penis for any reason whatsoever and in the last two days-THREE EXES have contacted me. Of course, one is kind of expected-that would be baby daddy. But, for the last three months I haven't heard a word from him then all of a sudden over the past week, he's mister chatty cathy calling and texting on a regular basis, offering to buy baby furniture. Of course, nothing has materialized out of that yet. The second was Beautiful Dreadlock Man (BDM) who has since cut off his locks, which is beside the point. The reason for his contact? To propose marriage. Yes, he is fully aware that I am currently knocked up by The Ex and he offered to be my baby daddy, if I move to Baltimore to be with him. Mind you, I haven't seen the man in almost a year and when I informed him of my pregnancy, he went off on me and told me every evil thought a person could ever have about another person and everything I never wanted to know about myself-which he has done on more than one occasion. Of course, he apologized for that, a few times. During this conversation, he informed me that since we dated he compares everyone he meets to me and is 'addicted' to me. His words, not mine. Went on and on and on about how cute I am, how we have such great, deep conversations, blah blah blah. I informed him that I am not moving to Baltimore nor am I committing myself to marry a man I haven't seen in over a year after such a tumultuous time we did have together. The next offer from him was this-he wants to come to Minneapolis and stay with me for a few weeks to see if he can find a job, how we work out, then possibly move here so we can be one big happy family. I was like, yeah sure, knock yourself out. Its not going to happen because I strongly believe the idea came out of a drunken and pot fueled stupor. Since the offer was made, I have not heard from him. So much for a wedding in my future! Last, but not least, is the DJ. We dated off and on for a year, after lots and lots of drama ended things. He informed me during our relationship that he wasn't ready for anything serious and just didn't have time to devote to me. Yet, less than a month after we broke up, he had a new girlfriend. Interesting how one finds the time all of a sudden? Tonight, he sent me a text. "How ya doin, K?" What the hell is that all about? I have made it perfectly clear that he and I are not friends and that I want nothing to do with him, so why does he feel the need to contact me? When he informed me of his new girlfriend, I informed him that he could take a flying leap off the edge of a short cliff with his insecure, lying ass and never contact me again. Yet, here he is. Along with the others....creeping back into my life. For what? Honestly, I don't get it.

The crazy thing is, this happens about every three months or so. You can read about it in past blogs. Perhaps I need to change my phone number. Every three months or so, all of my exes (the major exes anyway) contact me within a week of each other. I do not contact them. I don't even have their phone numbers (except baby daddy for obvious reasons). Yet, they keep mine and contact me at seemingly random intervals. Perhaps there is a cosmic link that needs to be explored. Maybe the stars align every three months and the fates send a message to all my exes to contact me and torment me.