15 days til summer 5.19.07

Saturday, May 19, 2007

15 days til summer Current mood:reflective... My first year of teaching is almost over and i could not be happier. I had an incredibly frusturating year this year and due to issues at my current school-will be moving on to another school. It just can't be easy for me can it? Major accomplishments of this year-75% of my kids met or exceeded state standards on our test...which, for those of you not in education, kicks ass. I taught A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare and the kids LOVE it. Don't tell me inner city kids can't read Shakespeare. They can read it, enjoy it and even re write it to fit into their world! Seriously, it was their idea to re-write the play in their own langage and neighborhood...which we are doing right now. So many little joys...like Lavelle-the pain in my ass-actually updating a whole speech on his own, on the spot and hitting the mark. Or Shavonte-who talks back to me every single day-saying she is going to miss me....oh the joys! Anyway, the year is almost over and I am looking for a new school. If you are a pray-er, please pray to whomever it is that you pray to, that I will go to a school I can settle into. I really want to get a position at Harvard-a turnaround school here in the city. If you want to know more about that, I can tell you. Its a crazy cool, high pressure situation that is an incredible opporuntity for teachers. The main thing i learned from my first year of teaching....I LOVE TEACHING. Who cares that I can't pee all day or that kids talk back to me every second? the important thing is, I have fun and each day is full of a million little challenges. Like no other job I have had before, teaching is an adventure. Honestly, each day, i am never quite sure what is going to happen or who is going to suprise me. Reading student's refelctions on shakespeare, reading essays students write about whatever, hearing students use language I taught them, seeing a student get his first B ever because of his hard work....of that makes the political bullshit of teaching, and dealing with crazy parents, and the long hours worth it. I love my kids....each and every one of them. The friday before mother's day I was giving my students a ride to an event and one girl asked me, "Ms Wymore, are you a mom?" And before I could even answer, another student said, "of course she is, she has all of us as her kids!" and they are right. I invest in each and every one of them every day and they are my kids...for the time I have them. and I hope they are better kids because of it. I know that I am a better teacher and person because of each one of them....even the major pains in my ass...they tend to teach me the most.

8th grade southsiders

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

8th grade ghetto boys Current mood: contemplative Category: School, College, Greek I love my job teaching, I really do. I am grateful for my new school and my new job. However....8th grade boys are not what i signed up for. See when I got the job I was supposed to teach Science and have 7th grade girls as my homeroom. 7th grade girls and 8th grade boys are a teensey weensy bit different...we are coming to the end of week two and they haven't made me cry yet, but they have come close. They just exhaust me with their endless energy and their need for defiance, independence and autonomy. See, these are not your run of the mill, suburban, easy going boys. They are from the south side of Chicago. Most of them live in one of the few remaining housing projects. So, they are tough. Their lives outside school involve more challenges than I know and challenges that require them to be independent, tough, strong and sometimes violent. When they come into my classroom, they are expected to leave all that at the door and value school, education and books. Everything I ask them to do goes against their home experience and their outside lives. The order I need to teach them goes against their need for autonomy...its a constant battle. They see me as an outsider who doesn't know what they need, because I have different values and experience. I value education and see it as the key to their future beyond the confines of their limited experience, they value street smarts. So the question has become, how do I bridge the gap?

Why Teachers Quit

Today it became crystal clear to me why teachers don't stay in teaching-especially in Chicago. 75% or more off all teachers leave the profession within the first five years. That is not good, so one would think that the people in charge would start to make changes to keep employees. Think about it, if you owned a company that had that high of a turn over...wouldn't you worry? Today I experienced the insanity that is Chicago Public Schools administration. What would you do if you didn't get paid for your job? No, I am not talking about not getting paid the salary you think you deserve, I am talking about actually working, punching in and out, and not getting a paycheck. That is what is going on in CPS right now. See, I worked every day for the last three weeks and was supposed to get my paycheck today...did I get it? UM NO. Why? Well, that is what I spent 45 minutes on hold trying to find out from our payroll department. After waiting on hold for 45 minutes and being transferred to three people..I got connected with an incredibly rude and incompetent woman who acted like I did something wrong and this wasn't a big deal. UM HELLO I NEED TO PAY RENT BITCH...is what I felt like yelling....but no, I had to be polite. So, I didn't get paid and as far as the woman in payroll is concerned there is nothing she can do about it, I have to talk to my school clerk on Monday....which I find incredibly amusing since the school clerk told me that I have to contact payroll...how can an organization that employs thousands of people treat people like this? What would Arne Duncan-teh CEO of Chicago Public Schools-do if he didn't get paid? I am guessing it wouldn't happen. Let me go on....its been insanely hot this August and my classroom doesn't have Air Conditioning. I have a thermostat in my room and its usually around 87 degrees in there. And I am supposed to teach while sweat is running down my face, back, neck and legs. Every day I feel the effects of heatstroke when I get home. Once again...would the CEO work ONE FRIGGEN DAY without Air? Um, I think no. Its a load of crap that keeps serious teachers out. I am too good at what I do and too smart to deal with this crap-so are the other teachers who leave. I love the kids. I love teaching....but this administrative crap is what is going to to kill me. So anyway, hopefully you got a little insight as to why teachers quit.

more and more violence 4.11.08

more and more violence
Current mood: anxious
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

As of today, 23 students in Chicago Public Schools have died by gunfire. One of those students was a seventh grade boy that i taught. The other 22 are students throughout the district...mostly from the southside. Some from the westside. All minorities. Today, I was watching the five o clock news like I usually do and there is a breaking story. Fifteen year old boy shot on the southside...my pulse increased a bit as the story went on...the shooting happened literally in my school's backyard. A fifteen year old boy is is in the hospital in critical condition for what? The news says kids were shooting at each other...kids. Shooting at each other. What is that all about? How can we live in the wealthiest nation in the world where kids shoot at each other. For what? Why? How long are people going to continue to ignore the issues of violence, inequality, poverty, and injustice that perpetuate the violence in our own backyards. Why do my students have to live in such a violent place where hearing people getting shot is normal?

Yes the issues are complex. No money won't fit it. But something seriously needs to be done. Too many kids are dying or getting lost in the system. Too many kids are not being given the simple blessings of safety. Too many kids are not being given the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness because their lives are being cut short by the violence in the society they happened to be born into.

I am numb, sad, angry and perplexed all at the same time.

Vacations for Teachers? 1.04.09

I love teaching. Its a rewarding, challenging, fun, entertaining, exhilierating career where I truly feel I am called to be. However, I doubt I will stay in the teaching field longer than a couple more years. Why? Well, because teachers are taken for granted by society. We are not valued the way we should be considering the job we do and the complicated stress we have to deal with every day. We have pressure from students, parents, administrators, society as a whole, politicians, school boards, and everyone else. We are held to incredibly high standards but are not compensated to match the requirements we are expected to meet.

For example, I have my master's degree. The same level of education as a lawyer, correct? And yes lawyers have to bass the bar exam, but teachers have to pass multiple certification tests that we have to pay for. In Minnesota I believe I have to take three different tests that cost about $100 a piece. Do I make any where close to the amount of money a lawyer makes? No friggen way.

Well, you say, teachers get summers off and christmas break and spring break and all those other days off when school is not in session. Yes, you are correct we do get that time off, however that time is not vacation time. Let me explain. Do I get a paycheck over the summer, over christmas break and over spring break? Yes I do. However, it is not paid vacation. What the school districts payroll department does is take my salary and divide it equally over 26 pay periods for the year. So I get the same pay each pay period regardless of if we are in school or not. Anyone in the workforce could essentially work out a deal with their payroll department or set up their own savings account to do the same thing if they wanted to take extended time off work.

To break it down, when I worked in Chicago Public Schools, they took about $400 from each bi weekly paycheck and put into a savings account for me called "extended pay". When school was not in session, they paid me out of that fund, not out of vacation pay.

Teachers get two weeks paid vacation a year-one week at Christmas and one week for spring break. This never increases. If I worked in any other job, my paid vacation time would increase as I put in time. For example, my sister has worked for Allina for at least ten years, maybe even 15 years, and she has worked her way up to six weeks of PAID vacation. This is not banked time or banked salary, this is time her job pays her for not working. Why do teachers not deserve the same thing?

Another gripe...when we are on these unpaid vacations, we are expected to work. Teachers are expected to take work home with them-do lesson plans, grade papers, organize the classroom, make copies, buy books, etc. Teachers work for free probably an average of 10 hours a week. That is not okay. We are professionals who deserve to be compensated for our time and our value.

One final gripe. To maintain our teaching licenses, teachers have to continue their education and participate in professional development via conferences, meetings, and other events on our own time. Schools do not offer tuition reimbursement for these requirements. We have to pay for it out of our own pockets and our own time. We do not get paid for spending a weekend at a Young Adult Literacy Conference. We do not get reimbursed for taking classes that will improve our work performance and classes that are required for us to keep our jobs. We are expected to pay for those requirements out of our own pockets. How insane is that? Almost every other employer offers some level of tuition reimbursement....why don't school districts?

The best teachers end of leaving education because they can't deal with being taken for granted anymore and being expected to invest hours of our own time because its the right thing to do and because we care about kids. Its time for society to raise the compensation for teachers at the same level they raise the expectations and pressure for teachers.

Certified Mail

Okay, so here is the word for word letter I got via certified mail last week from my former school:

"It has come to our attention that you have been involved in email communication with one of our sixth grade students. Your very casual and friendly communication could certainly be misconstrued as an attempt to contact and to later meet with a vulnerable young student. Therefore, we are informing you that you may at no time contact any New Visions student.

If you are unclear about the above request, please contact our school legal counsel...."

Um yeah. So...needless to say i am more than a little upset. Thinking about this letter and the whole situation literally has me shaking and feeling so sick. I emailed a student because she had sent me a card when I was out on "administrative leave." The card was in the boxes of my belongings that the school packed up and I picked up. In the card, the student said she missed me wanted me to come back blah blah blah and she included her email address. I sent her the following email:

Hello (student's name removed because its a good idea),

Thank you for your card and all of the encouraging notes you left me
throughout the year. I appreciate them a lot. I just got your most
recent card today when I got to the school to pick up my belongings.
I miss you and the entire class and am very sorry I can not be there
with you all to finish out the year. Unfortunately, circumstances
beyond my control have kept me from being there. I enjoyed being your
teacher and know you will continue to do well.

Do you know where you will be going to school next year yet?

Tell everyone I said hello and that I miss them. Also feel free to
give them my email address as well, I would love to hear from anyone!

Thanks again (students name removed again),

Ms. Wymore

The kicker is that a couple of days after I sent the email, I got an email from Human Resources at the school saying I was not allowed to contact any students or staff of the school. Which I didn't. Then I get this letter in the mail. Its become harassment in my opinion.

So yeah...I just don't know what to do. I am angry, frustrated, discouraged and just plan exhausted. I am planning on calling a lawyer because I can not stand this veiled accusation out there and it makes me wonder what they are saying about me. I feel like I have been blackballed in the education community and I don't even know why.

I have never been accused of doing anything even remotely inappropriate regarding a student and I am just.....I don't even have words to explain my feelings. ARGH. Any advice? Thoughts? I have been working with students all of my adult life and this situation is taking the wind out of me...I still haven't contacted a lawyer because I am intimidated and scared. I need to, everyone I talk to says I should at least have a conversation with a lawyer just to get some perspective if nothing else, but I am so not good at standing up for myself. Maybe this is my chance....

Career?

A career is something you strive to create that gives you purpose and an income, that is generally the goal anyway. I spent the last ten or so years of my life preparing for such a career-a career in teaching. A so called noble profession focused on helping children become all they were created to be. My passion is urban education-striving to give students who happen to live in underserved, forgotten areas the same educational challenges and opportunities that students who happen to live in privilidged areas. Here's the thing...I have done that. I am good at it. My students love me...eventually. I hold each student to high standards, giving them the tools they need to succeed. At first, they struggle with it because they are not used to being held to such high standards to dealing with someone like me who treats them with respect and expects the best from each student at all times. I never took excuses from them or allowed them to feel sorry for themselves. I know that my students respected me and appreciated all that I did for them and even liked me because they still contact me.

I left Chicago in June of 2008 after my first two years of teaching at very challenging schools. On Sunday I got a phone call from a former student. Not just any student, but Dominique. The student who at Doolittle East was the thorn in my side and challenged me every single day. If a day went by where she didn't call me a fat bitch I knew something was dreadfully wrong in the world. Still, every day I said good morning to her and continued to challenge her, support her, and do my best to show her respect and show her that I cared for her. And I guess it worked.

Here's the kicker though, for some reason, administrators and other teachers tend not to like me. Why? Hell if I know! I still get random emails from my first students and even from my most recent students...yet, I can not keep a teaching job. My students succeed. My students are better off after having me as a teacher than before having me as a teacher. They are challenged, they are encouraged, they are inspired...yet, I don't have a teaching job.

So the question is, what do I do with that? Do I give up and find another career goal? Perhaps working in a university setting, perhaps doing administrative assistant work again? Do I keep pushing myself to find a school where I fit so that I can work within my passion or do I just give up?

At my most recent school, it all ended horribly. I was accused of things I didn't do, it felt like a witch hunt. There were teachers who, from day one, did not respect me or like me because I came from a different generation of teaching, with new ideas and a different communication style. Rather than showing me basic respect and getting to know me, they simply wanted me out so they came up with accusations after accusations to sabotage me. Mind you, these teachers were never in my classroom and did not care to know how my students were doing. They simply wanted me out, and that is what they got.

Right now, I don't know what to do. I am stuck. Lost. Confused. Unsure of what direction to take. I obviously need an income....but I crave a career, not just a job. What to do, what to do?

Keeps gettin better n better

Alrighty, so I got an email from my school today about getting my belongings. Yeah, I guess I am a major threat to the school and they are afraid to let me in because who knows, I might just steal something or set a bomb or who the heck knows what? Anyhoo...I can not enter my former classroom. I was asked to send a list of what belongs to me that is in the room and they will box it up and have it ready for me. Mind you, this is not a desk or a cubicle but it is a CLASSROOM. A classroom that I have not been allowed to enter for two weeks now. Of course, I do not have an annotated inventory list or map of my classroom at home. So, I asked, very politely, if I could box it up myself and have someone there to supervise me (remember I could blow up the school or destroy something or God knows what). The response from HR was "while we know this is frustrating is it company policy that once an employee is terminated they are not allowed back into the building to retrieve things. We will do our best to get your belongings." Neat-o frito. Well, I did my best to compile the list. I have been a teacher for three years now. Was a teacher's assistant and a teaching resident for one year each before starting my own career, so I have five years experience in the classroom. Literature and reading is my passion, so I spent a great deal of time and money to create a diverse classroom library-with the help of many close friends and family-and my books have been assimilated into the New Visions Room Six library. There are several bins of books. Mine are labeled with my name. So, its going to be quite the job to ensure that I get all of my books back. Am I really expected to trust these people to return all of my books and belongings? I am so irritated, angry and humiliated.

Here's the bigger kicker: I asked about getting documents off of the school computer I used. Mind you, I haven't had access to this in two weeks as well and was not expecting to be terminated because I had no warnings, wasn't on probation or anything else so I did not "clean up" the computer. Well, the HR response to my request to get documents off the computer was "tell us what you need and we will attempt to email the documents to you." My response was: " I need everything." See, I had pictures, lesson plans, notes, my taxes, my resumes, rubrics, projects I designed for the kids, basically all of my personally created work for the last year. HR's response: "We can't do that. Anything from this year is property of the school." To which I responded, "You are telling me that I do not have access to the documents that I myself created as a professional educator, as a part of my teaching career for the last year?" I did not get a response to that email. Hmmmm....I wonder why?

I just don't get it. Why does something have to turn so ugly? Okay, so I didn't fit into your small, petty, conceited, arrogant, special educational focused, charter school. Great. So why make this end so stupidly? This all could have been over last week. I didn't even get the respect of getting a phone call (which was promised) to inform me of the decision that was reached regarding my employment, instead I got a letter in the mail. My principal informed me that she lives in the boondocks and gets crappy cell service so she couldn't call me. What the hell? Take two seconds from SCHOOL an actual LANDLINE and show an employee the respect she deserves by discussing the situation. What a load of crap. I was more than willing to take time to go into school on a Saturday or in the evening to get my stuff. I don't want, or need their stuff. I am not a thief or untrustworthy. I desperately want to put all of this behind me, but they keep making it so incredibly difficult.

My advice: NEVER EVER EVER work at a charter school....and ask lots and lots of questions at your interview-ask to visit classrooms and talk to teachers, ask how long teachers have been there because-get this-of the 15 or so teachers on staff....eight have been there since the dawn of time and they are old school teachers who haven't taught anywhere else and want things done their way. They all do things the same way and have done them that way forever, so new blood is screwed. Two others have been there three years, a couple others two years, and two others this was their first year. What does that tell you about the school? The old folks push out newbies they don't like...my principal even said that to me when I first started. Hmmm...think that MIGHT be a problem lady?

ARGH. need to sleep, haven't slept well in two weeks. Once this is settled, I think my sleep will return. I hope my sleep will return....

Politics of teaching

Just over a week ago, I received a phone call at home from my principal at 9:15pm. Odd. The call itself was from the twilight zone. The night before I had attended a Parent Teacher Organization meeting at school where the principal announced that starting in Fall 2009 New Visions Academy would no longer serve students from Kindergarten through eighth grade, instead it would stop at sixth grade. I am the sixth grade teacher and had no knowledge or clue that this was even a possibility so I was justifiably surprised and shared my surprise. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not good at hiding my emotions, reactions or feelings. I am nothing if not genuine-some consider it a fault, some a strength. The meeting and the events thereafter were essentially uneventful.

I didn't really speak to anyone other than our school social worker-I told him I was concerned about how my students would react to the news and asked if anything was being planned to help them adjust and prepare for the transition. Of course, people heard my questions, nothing was inappropriate. I did state that I thought it was disrespectful to the staff that the announcement was made at the PTO meeting first without any consideration as to how we might react. I said I thought it would have been better to inform teachers first-especially since some of us would be losing our positions for the following year due to the change.

Well back to the phone call. My principal told me that I was being put on "Administrative Leave" because a parent had called the superintendent and made a complaint about something I said. She did not know what the accusation was-or at least claimed not to know-and said she would call me the next day with the needed information after she had her meeting with the superintendent. That was a Wednesday. I heard nothing of the accusations against me until Friday when the conversation at the PTO meeting was not even mentioned. Now, it seems, there was a plethora of negative accusations coming out against me. How did this occur? Hell if I know.

According to my principal, she put me on paid administrative leave to resolve the issue from the PTO meeting quietly so that no one would gossip or get involved and to protect me. Hmmmm....lets ponder this together for a moment. If the issue was about the PTO meeting and nothing else was being discussed to protect me, how did all of these other 'issues' come about? I'll tell you how-gossipy, insecure women who can not leave people alone.

Our conversation on Friday April 17th-yes my birthday Happy Birthday to me!-knocked the wind out of me. It seems, that through her investigation into the PTO issue, which we already stated was private (please notice the sarcasm here), there were three issues that needed to be addressed regarding me. Issue 1: a testing conversation I had with another teacher. Mind you, this other teacher was not put on administrative leave and was allowed to fully defend or explain the conversation before anyone spoke to me. That situation was this: after school on a day when we had state testing, Jackie asked me how testing went. I said, "It went well, a student even told me he used strategies I taught him on the test. He told me he made sure he had two opinions and two examples from the story." As we were talking, the person in charge of testing was walking by and obviously eavesdropping because she stopped what she was doing and came into the room and told us that if a testing authority had been there and heard what we said, we would be in HUGE trouble. I asked why, she shrugged and walked away. Well....this conversation which I still don't understand what the problem with it was because no one will explain it to me or allow me to say what it was that I said...has become one of the three nails in the coffin of my teaching career at New Visions Academy.

Nail number 2 was the accusation that I did not get permission slips for a movie that I showed to my class before spring break. The school policy is that to show a movie that is rated PG or higher, a teacher needs to get permission slips signed by parents or guardians. This is the crazy thing, a teacher at the school who has been rude to me since day one, gave me crap about handing out the permission slips but then someone else decided to tell the principal that I never got parental permission to show the movie. Ridiculous, yes! Of course, for ten days people at school were all being interviewed and talked to about this situation but I was not-remember, I was on administrative leave for my own protection. I did get signed permission slips and, unfortunately, I threw them away. I realize now I will never ever throw anything away again-but it was just before spring break and I was getting ready to have surgery and was trying to get the room and my desk and everything cleaned and organized to make things easier when I got back from break. This is the crazy thing too, the movie was "A Wrinkle in Time" and the students asked to see it because I had read them the book and they really truly enjoyed the book. Did I make a mistake not keeping the slips? Yes. Is it worth me losing my job over because someone is petty and doesn't like me for whatever reason and doesn't even know what they are talking about? No. Again, I was not allowed to go to my classroom to find the check list where I checked off names of students whose slips I got. Remember too, the slips were passed out on April 1st and the 'investigation' is occurring on April 21st-after spring break, after testing, three weeks later. And, of course, no one knew what was going on because I was out of the building on administrative leave for my protection...yet somehow....an issue from the PTO meeting turned into an issue about permission slips.....hmmmm...how might that happen?????

The final nail in the coffin of my teaching job is special education modifications and this one seriously cracks me up. See, at New Visions there are special education teachers and regular education teachers. I was the regular education teacher for 5th and 6th grade. More than 50% of my students have some form of special education services whether it be emotional/behavioral issues or learning disabilities. I am responsible for a total of 60 students throughout my day (1st grade reading group, 5th grade, 6th grade and a middle school reading group). The special education teachers are responsible for 10 to 12 who they work with either one on one or in very small groups throughout the day when they are pulled out of the regular education teacher's classes. Here's the kicker, at the start of the year I had been modifying spelling lists and other assignments for my SPED students like I was supposed to, then I was told by two different special education teachers that I was doing it wrong so, they said they would do it. Silly me to trust coworkers! Well, when it came out that a student wasn't getting spelling grades who got blamed? Oh yes, you got it! ME! Not his special education teacher who sees him for 45 minutes for reading every friggen day but me who sees him (in a class of 19 other students) every day for less than 15 minutes. At this school, teachers are expected to focus on the special ed kids to the detriment of the other students. Literally, these students in question, are with me for 10 to 15 minutes of reading time a day then they are with their special education teacher either one on one or in a small group (2 or 3 kids who have similar needs). These teachers said they would handle the modifications and who gets screwed? Me.

Its simply insane. One of these special education teachers belittled me in front of my students, told me I was doing modifications wrong, refused to help me, sent me demeaning, unprofessional emails on a weekly basis and because I was mature and chose to ignore the pettiness and focus on my job, I get fired.

This is the kicker, this teacher, who I know is behind two of the three issues that got me fired, is not my boss. She is not my supervisor. She has never been in my classroom, she doesn't even have her Special Education certification that I am aware of, has never taught at a different school and doesn't have her master's degree. Yet, she has the power of influence over this staff with her cronies to push people they don't like out. The real issue I think, was that these two teachers who had only taught in the small world of new visions, were intimidated by someone who knows what else is out there and doesn't bow to them. Of course, there is no way to prove that. And I am trying really really hard not to be bitter and angry...but its hard. I worked so hard to become a teacher and I love my job but I can't deal with the pettiness that surrounds me. Why can't people just let me do my job and give me the benefit of the doubt? I mean really, does someone have to babysit me and report on things like permission slips for movies when they don't know what they are talking about? Why not just ask me? Why not offer to help the new teacher at school to learn the policies? Why cause the drama? Its exhausting......

So, I was fired effective last Friday but was not even given the professional courtesy of being notified of this termination by phone, oh no, I got a letter in the mail. My principal had 2 or 3 short conversations with me over the phone while doing her so called investigation honestly expecting me to believe that no one at school knows what is going on or is involved. Its insane that I was not allowed to be a part of any of these meetings discussing my accusations. I was not allowed to face my accusers or defend myself at all. The decision was made by someone that I needed to go, so they spent ten days drumming up enough information to, in their minds, justifiably fire me. Its disheartening to say the least and honestly, I am not sure where to go from here. None of the accusations against me have anything to do with my teaching ability or the impact I have on students. I am a good teacher. My students are challenged by me academically, intellectually, socially. They are better off because I was their teacher, and what makes me really sad is, now I am just another teacher/adult who abandoned them. I was not allowed to say anything to my students, to say goodbye-nothing. At this point in time I am still waiting for permission to return to the school to get my personal belongings. Its going on two weeks and they can't even allow me to get my stuff. It really is ridiculous, unprofessional and sad. I know I will be okay, I always land on my feet, I'm tenacious and blessed. The thing that sucks, is that all of this drama affects the kids the most.