Knocked up ordained minister and middle school teacher looking for work

While I have only known I am growing a baby inside of me for ten days, it feels like a lifetime. The second that second line on the stick started to show a faint pink blur my life was turned upside down. This is not what I had planned or what I wanted or what I hoped for but it will be good. I mean really, this year has not exactly set me up to be prepared for parenthood let alone single parenthood. I lost my job in April and have been actively seeking employment since then to no avail. Lots of interviews that I thought went well only to end with the kind rejection letter and lots of resumes and applications filled out for jobs I am either entirely under-qualified for or overqualified for. (sorry random interjection-why is under-qualified hypenated but overqualified is not?) And here I am, pregnant with the child of my ex significant other. The irony in my situation is not lost. First, I became an officially ordained minister at the end of last year to perform a close friend's marriage ceremony in January. I mean really, how many knocked-up ordained ministers do you know? Oh and the week before I found out about my bundle of joy, I started applying for seminary. Yes. Seminary. Church leadership. And now I am knocked up...ironic? Yes. The quiet sin of fornication is now visible to the outside world, which means of course, I would never be accepted into seminary. This of course, if a whole other tangent of issues I have with established religion which I will not delve into now.

So here I am, knocked up, ordained minister, with a master's degree in teaching, and an Illinois teaching license, not to mention my bachelor's degree in elective studies (don't ask) and ten years of customer service experience plus five years of administrative experience in non profit organizations and I can not find a job. Nor can I find direction. My neighbor asked me tonight, "Well, what do you WANT to do?" My response...."I don't know." All my life I wanted to be a teacher-middle school language arts in the city to be exact-and I did that for four years and was darn good at my job, although administrators tend not to like my independence or style, hence the current unemployment situation. My last three years in public education have left a very very bad taste in my mouth regarding teaching. The job itself I adore and admire immensely. Its the politics and cattyness that I can't stand. Each year that I taught, my students made the highest gains on the standardized tests, by a landslide. I moved 40% of my students to meeting or exceeding standards, for a total of 70% of my class meeting or exceeding standards on the state tests. Students email me and thank me for being their teacher. I know I am good at what I do, yet I can't get a job. So the question remains, what do I want to do? And the answer is still the same...I don't know. I have been applying for any job that I am remotely qualified for or interested in and my unemployment runs out in 11 short weeks. And, of course, eight months from now, I will be bringing a baby into this chaotic world. It would be nice to have a job by then to provide a level of stability for this life growing inside of me. I truly believe in God and believe that each child conceived is a gift from God and I want to honor this child and give it everything it deserves: love, security, food to grow, spiritual grounding, identity, confidence, etc. But ya know, a job would really help me get off on the right foot with all of that. Right now, seven weeks into the 40 week journey, I am petrified. My guest room is being transformed into a baby's room. I'm eating much much better than usual. A life is growing inside of me and I have no idea how I am going to provide for this little life. All I can do, is pray and keep applying for jobs and being available to opportunities as they present themselves and trust that all things do work for the good of those who love God. I have made my mistakes but I have never not loved God and tried my best to love people in my life.